Beyonce is now a Poser....

Beyonce really hates this photo and after all, what's not to hate? Guess what Beyonce.... we all have hideous photos floating around out there on the inter webs. For example... Facebook tags. I, for one cannot delete that shit fast enough. Since Beyonce does not have the almighty power to press a world wide delete button instead she has her publicist putting the smack down on any future unflattering photos. From now on we will only be able to gaze upon the wonder of Bey-Bey if she is propped, locked and posed. After all, who really wants to see Beyonce's "O" face and by "O"  face, I mean her  constipated pooping face. Easy solution.... Bey needs more fiber and a strong dose of reality.

Do YOU know who Reese Witherspoon is?

So, Reese Witherspoon brought out the nasty recently when her husband was pulled over for a DUI. More notable though is that "Reese" is really "Laura" and not a very nice person. Witherspoon's hubby, Jim Roth apparently had the drunken bleary eyes and reeked of booze when he was pulled over the other day. Instead of sitting there quietly and letting them haul Roth off to jail Reese aka Laura had a lot to say to the arresting officer such as:  ‘Do you know my name?’  the officer answered, ‘No, I don’t need to know your name.’  then added, ‘right now.’ Mrs. Witherspoon stated, ‘You’re about to find out who I am.’ Big fucking whoop. So, you're Reese Witherspoon. Doesn't give your husband the right to drive drunk but I am guessing him driving that night was the lesser of two evils as Reese was pretty crocked herself. I mean, she'd have to be right? It's just not possible that the sweet, girl next door actress would have a single nasty bone in her body, right? Right. So, Reese got to wear a pretty pair of diamond encrusted handcuffs and was taken to jail along with Toth, In any event they were released the next day. The moral of the story? STFU.

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Nascar Racing really packs a punch...

Anyone who watches Nascar racing and likes to bet on sports knows that a lot of skill, determination and ego are involved. This all seems to work out fine when everything is in balance but the moment someone steps on someones toes all hell breaks loose. For example, last weeks fiasco between Tony Stewart and Joey Logano shows that while Nascar racing is thought to be a "gentleman's sport" it's been known to spur on many fights, grudges and vendettas between hotheaded race car drivers. You can always count on speed and fast cars to bring out the good, bad and ugly in the racing arena.

The Sprint Cup Series race last Sunday at Auto Club Speedway was a shining example of competitiveness and hot tempers when a scuffle broke out between Stewart and Logano. The story goes, that Logano blocked Stewart on a restart with 11 laps remaining in the Auto Club 400. After the race Stewart went to confront Logano (and by confront I mean punch his face in) and a shoving match began between the 2 crews and ended with Logano chucking a water bottle at Stewart. Personally, I would have shoved that water bottle so far up Logano's butt he would never be thirsty again. In any event, neither driver will be penalized although Logana was responsible for wrecking into Denny Hamlin while battling for the lead which resulted in a lower back compression fracture for Hamlin. Ouch. Racing is rough stuff.

Maybe they should change the catch phrase from "Boogity, Boogity, Boogity let's go racing boys!" to "Let's get ready to Ruuuuumble!"

Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus seperated at birth...

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber could be identical twins if not for the whole  chromosome thing. I have a better theory on that though. They actually could be identical and one is just faking us out. Did you know that out of every 1,666 births, one baby is born with both sexes? It's about as common as a child being born a natural redhead, hence the 666 factor. So look around you, every time you see a soulless ginger person, not far behind them is a  Miley/Justin hermaphrodite. Truth.

Steven Tyler has too much damn money....

I used to watch all the great comedians back in the day. Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams and even Jerry Seinfeld all got their start in stand up comedy. They told lot of great jokes and what always makes a joke more funny is the shread of truth that is usually attached. So when I heard that Steven Tyler made an offhand remark that he's blown "5 or 6 million" bucks on drugs I was reminded of a line Robin Williams said once.... If you are buying cocaine it's "Gods way of telling you, you have too much damn money!" Ridiculous. Millions of blow? Who does that? Oh yeah, Steven Tyler. Whom, I might add is looking more and more like a cartoon drawing brought to real life. He's not bad, he's just drawn that way.

Ashlee Simpson Upskirt Panties Photo!

Ashlee Simpson has fallen off the radar for the most part. Her singing career tanked. Shocker. Her marriage to Pete Wentz tanked. Shocker. Her sister Jessica Simpson is churning out baby after baby and her parents are divorcing amid rumors that her dad, Joe is gay. So what is a girl to do to stay relevant? Flash her panties. So here is the new Ashlee Simpson upskirt photo to get herself a little attention. Can't blame a girl for trying.

Kim Kardashian needs a Xanax....

Poor Kim Kardashian is so stressed out over her divorce to Kris Humphries that she is putting her unborn baby at risk. Maybe Kim should have waited a few minutes before getting knocked up by Kayne West. After all, her birth control method has seemed to work for her all of these years until now. Kim does not think things through although she seems to be cold and calculating on the surface she is just a mass of uncertain insecurity underneath. Maybe she thought she's be divorced by now however Kris is not letting go easily and it's pretty obvious he is reveling in her dismay at not being able to get on with her life. Oh, well. Too bad, so sad Kim.

Mama June is fading away....

So, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" Mama June has lost a 100 pounds just by moving that big, beautimous body and spreading her smexy all over the place. WORK IT SMOOCHIE!

I think it's awesome and I genuinely like June. I think she has the best interests of her children in mind, barring the fact that they are on a reality show and will most likely end up in rehab sooner or later. But still, you got to hand it to her. How many families get the chance to be on TV, make a fuck ton of money and just be themselves? Yes. I said it. I actually believe this family is the real deal. Of course they set up scenarios to keep us entertained but these people are who they are and they don't care what you think!

However, while the first season was extremely captivating in a train wreck sort of way the more recent episodes are a bit more contrived and I kind of think the charm has worn off. Alana has always been super obnoxious but she has really ramped it up and while they used to capture her saying phrases that you could tell she coined herself, this time she seems to be coached and that kind of sucks.

Of course I'll keep watching because I am a reality junkie and I simply cannot stop. Just don't send Intervention to my house because I hate surprises.

Kate Bosworth is mixed up...

Kate Bosworth did a photo shoot that makes her look like she just bawled her eyes out or passed out in a drunken stupor in full makeup. I've never noticed that she has two different colored eyes. How cool is that? I had a girlfriend a long time ago that was a dead ringer for Cyndi Lauper except that she had a brown eye and a green eye. It was awesome looking but she would always complain about what a bitch it was to get her eyeshadow to look right.

Speaking of eyes and makeup, I just bought some false eyelashes because I see everyone wearing them these days. I didn't buy the huge, thick spider leg type that Snooki wears but I did get a pair of very natural looking ones. At least I think they will be awesome and natural looking if I could get  them on my eye lids. What the hell? It is hard. I cannot get the damn things on and in place. I suppose I need more practice... or just a really good tube of mascara and call it a day.