Got Meat?

Feed Me Twinkies

I have come to the conclusion that these silly girls starve themselves for the attention. It's that simple. The have no real talent and with all the competition out there, well, I guess anything is good publicity. Let's make a list, shall we?

1. Lindsay Lohan
2. Nicole Ritchie
3. Mary Kate Olson

Those are the obvious choices, but now lets take a closer look...

1. Avril Lavigne
2. Teri Hatcher
3. Sarah Jessica Parker-skinny and ugly
4. Cheryl Crow
5. Kelly Ripa
6. Victoria Beckham

Am I forgetting anyone?

Shut the fuck up already!

Enough!

I watched the Oprah rerun with Tom Cruise and I get it now. Tom Cruise is an idiot. What I do not get is every woman in the audience was just swooning and hanging onto his every word.

I have never been a fan of his. Never thought he was hot or even interesting. He is a weirdo, the kind of guy to point out a chip in your toe nail polish. "Hey babe, let's get you a pedicure, you must be perfect to be seen with the likes of me." Yeah, whatever.

As for sweet little Katie, girlfriend you look 12 years old and I do believe Tom is so head over heels for you because he is a dud in bed and you won't know the difference. That is until Tom is off having his head examined and his microchip replaced at the local Scientology center. You just may while away the hours and discover the pleasures of the Pool Boy or maybe if you're feeling really raunchy the Cable Guy.

Anyway, in between his posturing, gesturing and jumping on the sofa, I noticed that his Invisalign teeth have crept back to their original crooked mess. Another candidate for those DaVinci Veneers. Hey Tom, let's chuck the vitamins and give Prozac a whirl. Maybe it'll get you on an even keel, dude.

Can you say, Satan?

Get the Hell outta the kitchen!

Gordon Ramsay. This guy is such a bastard, he makes Simon Cowell look like the fucking Easter Bunny. He screams, yells, swears and gets downright abusive. I dunno but smashing those plates on their chests looked like an assult charge to me.

If you get off on sarcasm, abuse and humility watch this show. I rather enjoy it. It never ceases to amaze me what people will do, say or tolerate when it comes to being on reality tv.

Who cares, really?

It's so chaotic?

It's so over already. It was interesting in a immature way. Is Britney stuck on sex or what? My guess is that K. Fed must do a bang up job in the bedroom.

Like everyone else, I thought Kevin was riding the money train for all it's worth. Now? I think the dude really does love her, but smoking a ton of weed can make you rather tolerant. She's irrritating as poison ivy. Imagine their baby... A little stoner with a perpetual rash.

Hee Hee!

While the jury deliberates...

I would like to speculate...

Michael Jackson is no child molester. Is he inapropriate? Hell yes. Does he continue to display objectional behaivour? Absolutely! Does he go around sexually abusing little boys? I doubt it and I'll tell you why...

As a child he spent a whole lot of nights in hotel rooms hiding under the covers while his older brothers and his dad banged chicks. In the same room and need I mention, his dad is married to his mom?! That's it in a nutshell folks.

I believe Michael is just not into sex. He is stuck in that 12 year old frame of mind. The age right before boys turn into dudes and morph into humping, hunching freaks. By staying in that stage, he can avoid sex and mature relationships altogether. Play time fellas. And hey, what 10 and 12 year old boys haven't huddled up together and whacked off?

The "accusers" are shysters looking for a buck. His attorneys are making them look like the lying cheating money grubbing losers that they are. As for the charges? I hope he walks and then runs to the nearest Clinique counter. Hey, Michael! Get a proper make under! Lay off the Vicodin and the eyeliner.