Courtney Stodden what's old is new again...

Photos of Courtney Stodden have "surfaced" of her in high school, which is where she should be right now if she wasn't 30 years old. Courtney swears all over the place that she hasn't had any plastic surgery but I am not buying it. Her nose is drastically different, her forehead is smoother and her boobs did not suddenly  morph into hard silicone sacs naturally. I know kids change as they grow out of their teens but apparently Courtney is still in her teens. This whole thing is a ridiculous lie including her "marriage" to that old dude. It's just gross and wrong.

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Jessica Simpson is smart... no really!

I guess Jessica Simpson can't hide the fact that she is pregnant, anymore. It's either she's knocked up or she is hoarding a turkey with all the trimmings tucked away inside her shirt. I wouldn't put it past her but it also looks like she's carrying about a gallon of milk in her boobs, so yup, she's pregnant. I guess keeping it quiet gets her a lot more attention and puts her photos out there so that is kinda smart and could mean a bigger payday when the little bundle of joy finally arrives.

I know how they can make a lot cash and get free hotel stays, I'd love to see Eric and Jessica on an episode of Jerry Springer duking it out over weddings and babies with Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. Personally I would also enjoy seeing them on Maury doing a paternity test and finding out the Baby Daddy is not Eric. Next they'd be on an episode of Steve Wilkos where it will all come out that Jessica's Baby Daddy is actually Joe Simpson. Next up, Dr. Phil will ask them "how's that working fer ya?"  I'd throw in an episode of Divorce Court, but fuck it they aren't even married.

I'm sorry, I've had a lot of coffee this morning. A lot.

Rocco Richie & David Banda are big kids...

When did this happen? Madonna's kids Rocco Richie and David Banda grew up! The last time I noticed a photo of them they were little tots. Rocco looks just like his dad Guy Richie and David looks just like that Jesus dude Madonna made out with in her video "Like a Prayer."

You see a lot of photos of Lourdes but not these two. I guess Lola is more marketable with the clothing line and now she is going to be a singer, shocker! I have to say, Madonna makes (and adopts) good looking kids.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt is stuck in a rut Evil Beet

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Madonna knows crazy Celeb Senior Laundry

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Bar Refaeli isn't scented, just smells Swanky Celebs

Justin Bieber likes tits and ass... imagine that.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez need to get a room. Justin had his hands all over Selena including a boob grab from behind and a ass squeeze. How romantic. Well, he's young so I suppose he'll figure it out soon enough. Looks like he's getting some practice in with Selena who doesn't seem to mind.

Michael Lohan cannot help himself...

Michael Lohan got himself arrested in Tampa at 1 AM this morning. It was for the usual. His psycho on again off again girlfriend Kate Major and Michael had a big nasty fight and someone called the cops. You know, everyone should just keep this info on hand so we don't have to write it again in 6 months. Same with the mugshot. Just keep the post up and refresh the screen every once in a while.

I watched Michael on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab and was he ever a mess.

Courtney Stodden is a whore among pumpkins...

If Courtney Stodden wasn't acting like a whore I'd have to venture a guess that either she was comatose or became a sudden paraplegic. So when she got kicked out of Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch it was not a shocker to me. Really though how inappropriate to slut it up amongst the kiddies and parents, not to mention all those innocent pumpkins who will now have to be carved with condom covered knife. Wanna know exactly what got Courtney thrown out?

Salma Hayek see through top photo...

Salma Hayek wants to wish everyone a Happy Monday by showing us her amazing boobs in a see through shirt. Enjoy!

Jessica Simpson is not pregnant... well, maybe a little.

Of course Jessica Simpson is pregnant. You know, when the rumors first started I didn't believe them. I just thought Jess was getting fat again, although she was planning her wedding and aren't you supposed to do the opposite? Anyway, as time goes by it's more and more obvious that Jessica is truly knocked up. I wonder if she knows what causes that? Can you imagine her at the gynecologist? "Doctor, is this chicken or a fish that I has in my uterus?"

Mariah Carey shows us her girls... no, not her boobs.

Mariah Carey has finally brought the twins to light and is showing them off to the world. I know, we've caught a glimpse here and there but I guess Mariah is settling into mommy hood and feels more comfortable bringing Morrocco and Monroe out for the photogs. I've never liked Mariah, she is such a bitch and so snotty but seeing her with dem babies is kinda cool. Maybe they will mellow her diva ways but I'm guessing they will follow in her footsteps or maybe they'll be easy going like their dad, Nick Cannon. Either or, those kids have it made in the shade!

Lindsay Lohan has fired her manager... wrong one!

Lindsay Lohan has fired her manager because she wasn't working hard enough for her. Lindsay should fire her MOM-ager. Why not, she quit her dad and who can blame her? Anyway, Lind's mom is planning a tell all book about Lilo and she is going to spill her guts about "everything." I call Bullshit! I have never seen someone in so much denial as Dina Lohan. It's incredible really. I'll read the book because I simply cannot help myself... but I am sure Dina will gloss over the facts worse than a glazed donut and Lindsay will be portrayed as the poor little victim. Boo freakin' hoo. It's time Lindsay grew up and got over herself.

Pink has the cutest baby ever!

What can I say about Pink that I haven't said a million times here before? She is awesome and her daughter Willow Sage is destined for greatness. 'Nuff said.

Kate Hudson duplicates herself...

Kate Hudson was out with her new baby Bingham (stupid name) and "fiance" Bill Belamy. That kid looks just like her, only he has a penis and Kate has simply had a lot of penises. Same difference.

Katherine Heigl wants you to look...

So, Katherine Heigl was photographed pumping gas in this horrid looking coat. I can see if all of your winter clothes are in storage and you have to raid grandma's closet for something right quick, but it's not cold in California, she's wearing shorts! Don't let those huge Paris Hilton sunglasses fool you either, Katherine isn't trying to hide. She calculated this outfit so she'd get her photo posted on blogs and guess what? It worked.

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Leann Rimes can get you skeletal in time for Halloween Evil Beet

Denise Richards likes balls Celeb Baby Laundry

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Keith Richards likes one thing better than drugs Celeb Senior Laundry

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J Woww drinks vodka, Svedka to be exact...

So, J Woww landed the campaign for vodka brand Svedka. Here she is licking on a pumpkin lollipop in a skin tight body suit, posing with a couple bottles of Svedka.

I have to admit I've only recently started watching Jersey Shore. Catching past episodes on my DVR. One thing that I have noticed is that J Woww is a good friend and overall a good person. I may be missing something here but it seems like Jennie step in and steps up when she should and has been more than a loyal friend to Nicole (Snooki) and even tolerates Sammi these days. I haven't known her to "smash" any of the other roommates, although I haven't caught all of the episodes, yet. So, good for her. I like J Woww and I hate to admit it but I like Snooki too.

Mike "The Situation" is a fool and I love it when the girls tell him to "go get botox, you look like a 40 year old man," (true, so true) yet he acts like a girl with all of his gossip and trouble starting. The best ever? During the fight with Ronnie where Mike slams his head into the wall, and gives a whole new meaning to the word "smash."

Rihanna is a shitty role model...

I'm sure Rihanna is all about how she is not trying to be a role model to young girls, blah, blah, blah... However the plain hard facts are that these young pop stars are admired, copied and worshipped by young girls just like they have always been throughout the years.

So, take Rihanna for example (where she is way over sexualized as it is) and mix in a bunch of crotch rubbing, half naked videos. We "grown-ups" find her to be a simpering whore. The young girls think that's the way to act, look and live.

Her latest video "We Found Love" shows some dude tattooing the word "MINE" on her ass. So, I guess that ass belongs to him. I would have a lot more respect for Rihanna if she had tattooed that word on her own ass herself.

Jessica Simpson has no clue...

So, a very obviously pregnant Jessica Simpson is holding out for the big bucks to reveal her pregnancy and baby photos. $500,000 to be exact. Not really that much money considering how much other celebrities have snagged in the past. It's not like Jessica needs the money she has like, billions already.

Remember right after she married Nick Lachey? They were broke after spending all of their money on the wedding. Too bad you can't get a refund, right? Anyway, Jess has worked her ass off in recent years and has built up quite a nice chunk of cash. So why is she shopping around for baby money? Who cares? No one (at this point) is going to pay her to tell us something we already know. She should just wait til the baby comes, hide it away and then make a deal for photos then. She needs to stop listening to her weirdo dad, Joe Simpson.

Lindsay Lohan needs a reality check...

Well, Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again, already. After being ordered to go the the freaking morgue at 8:30 am Lindsay of course shows up late.

TMZ had this to say:

Lindsay was supposed to show up by 8 AM, but at 7:40 her assistant called to say she’d be there in 10 minutes.

We’re told Lindsay didn’t show up until 8:40. Her publicist claims she was late “due to a combination of not knowing the entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival.”

Lindsay was met at the door by Coroner’s officials who turned her away.

The Coroner’s office then contacted the Probation Dept.’s Volunteer Center and notified them that she was late … AGAIN. That info will be forwarded on to Judge Stephanie Sautner.

How ridiculous! I watch TMZ as often as I can and they passed the comment that maybe Lindsay hopes to simply do some jail time and that's why she's not taking this seriously. After all, the prisons in California (for celebs) are not too shabby and due to over crowding most high profile inmates get out in a hot minute. So, it's possible that Lindsay just wants to get it over with and go back to drinking, drugging and stealing without the state breathing down her neck.

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Lindsay Lohan is seriously delusional, seriously Evil Beet

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Katie Holmes boob slip photo...

You've got to hand it to Katie Holmes. She is always taking Suri out and spending time with her. Of course, Suri is a totally spoiled brat which is maybe why she's an only child thus far. Anyway the prying paparazzi got a shot down the front of Katie's shirt and her boobs look like they have had it. It like looking at two slightly deflated water balloons.

Ali Lohan is nothing special...

So, Ali Lohan had debuted her modeling career. Eh... I don't see a "model" here. I see a way too skinny girl trying to make a buck and riding out the family name. In the top photo for just a second I almost thought those were her bones! If you scraped off all of her freckles they'd add up to half of her body weight. If I were her I'd change my name, eat a cheeseburger and go get a real job.

Lindsay Lohan is early for Halloween...

Oh, look! It's Lindsay Lohan in handcuffs again. She looks so skeletal no wonder those cuffs didn't fall off her. They didn't stay on long anyway, a $100,000 bail was posted so she was sprung from the pokey right quick. She looks like hell, almost corpse-like with that makeup.

Her dad, Michael Lohan was spouting off that he believed she is smoking meth, hence the fucked up teeth.. Shocker! I heard that she had "emergency" dental work done earlier this week. She hasn't smiled in a photo since those last shots came out so I can't tell yet. I was surprised that her teeth got that bad after all she could have stolen a box of Crest White Strips or something from a Walgreens.

Chaz Bono really is a dude, sorta...

Here is Chaz Bono scratching his ass, out in public just like a man. Must be all that testosterone. I'm sure he'd itch his balls too if he had any. Chaz is still hanging in there on Dancing With The Stars. I, for one was not unhappy to see Carson Kressley go. He is sort of pathetic in his attention whore attempts. Any time a camera pans his way he always breaks out in some sort of flourish to draw your eye to him. So annoying.

Hilary Duff is strategic like that...

Hilary Duff goes out of her way to conceal her growing baby bump. I think celebrities do this to throw us off on the due date of the baby. They always say they are less farther along so when we expect their bundle of joy in October for example, it will actually show up in September. It's been done for ages.

Anyway, this time Hilary used her adorable little chihuahua to cover up with which wouldn't be very effective if she didn't have it wrapped up in a blankie. That tiny little dog couldn't even block out one of her boobs!

Selma Blair has no bra to speak of...

Selma Blair was out and about sporting her mom tits and no bra underneath her flimsy dress. I would think that would be painful after a couple hours but Selma doesn't seem to mind and if you don't seem to mind here is a photo of Selma Blair and her nipples. Enjoy.

Demi Moore is fading away...

Demi Moore is disappearing right before our very eyes. It's almost like she is going to come out and say that she's been dating Criss Angel or something like that. I know most women gain weight when in a relationship then frantically lose it when they go out on the prowl for a new man. Demi didn't need to do that she has always looked good. Until now. Someone needs to tell her that Ashton Kutcher isn't worth it.

TMZ had a funny clip where they caught Joan Rivers at the airport. Joan was quick to throw them off her track when she spilled the beans that not only was Demi Moore on the same flight but indulged that Demi only ate an apple and drank water. I'm sure they can rustle up a cheeseburger or something in first class. Really Demi, you need to eat.

Courtney Love looks like hell. SHOCKER!

Courtney Love has her moments and I have seen them for myself where she can actually look good and there was a point in time when the plastic surgery was actually working for her. However Courtney has always been a "balls to the wall" chick and she usually takes it too far. Be it drugs or just her natural quirkiness Courtney displays all the makings of a former, addled rock star. I wish she'd come out with something new and awesome. I know, once I put "Live Through This" in my CD player it didn't come back out for 2 months.

Pink is just a girl in the world..

Pink is so down to earth and I have always loved her "Fuck You" attitude. It looks like being a new mommy is working for her. She's getting back into shape just like a normal person. Here she is out shopping around in a hoodie and some interesting pants. Pink has always had balls... huge ones and I hate to say it but you can really see them here in this photo.

Stacey Kiebler has a wardrobe malfunction...

I am surprised that George Clooney is looking into Stacey Keibler's eyes. Mine would be focused on her cleavage and not because it all bodacious and shit but because her sticky boob tape has quit her dress and it's apparent (or transparent) that Stacey was trying to be modest and failed.

Katherine Heigl is boob-tastic...

Who knew Katherine Heigl had such perky tits? Maybe she got some breast implants to boost her er... self esteem. Too bad they can't give her a personality implant. Or maybe she borrowed some sticky tape from Stacey Keibler to prop those boobs up a bit.

Christina Aguliera is forgetful...

While giving a shout out to Andy Warhol, Christina Aguilera must have been in a hurry because she forgot to put some pants on. Christina has been taking heat due to her chunky frame but I think she looks fine. She should have a least thrown on a pair of black leggings to hide those thighs. Not gonna mention the horrid yellow hair.

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Patrick Swayze is still around... sorta like "Ghost" Evil Beet

Jennifer Aniston ruins everything...

No big surprise here. Jennifer Aniston ruined this guys life all because he is a pervert. She should be used to that, after all Jen did date Gerard Butler, it doesn't get much more pervy than that.

So, this dude worked on the set of Jennifer's movie "The Break Up" apparently he was accused of sexual harassment and was tossed off the set and fired. See? This is all Jennifer Aniston's fault. She goes around ruining men's lives. Except for Brad Pitt who woke up from his marital stupor to Jen just in time to hook up with Angelina Jolie.

This sign the guy is holding is not a new sight to Jen's eyes. Every single guy she's ever dated has written up a similar one. You know... cruel, heartless Jen dumps a guy after his sperm quits her she kicks them out and they end up hungry homeless and broke. Jen Aniston is the Devil.

Hilary Duff likes her boobs...

Hilary Duff stopped by the Chelsea Lately show for a interview. Of course the pregnancy topic came up and while Hilary claims to be suffering no ill effects due to the fetus occupying her uterus she had this to say about her boobs:

“It’s good. I mean everything has been really easy. I haven’t gotten sick... Motioning to her chest) these are new, these are like new and different, so that can be a good and bad thing. But other than that, seriously, it’s pretty easy.”

Well, after the baby comes they can slam a pair of implants in there while doing her tummy tuck. That's the way they roll in Hollywood.

Gwyneth Paltrow does something normal..

Everyone... GASP! Pretentious bitch Gwyneth Paltrow took her kids to the park. And not just any park but a public one. Oh, the horror! She let them touch stuff that other less fortunate kids have touched. Incredible. I am sure that once she got them home she had the maid scrub them down with Pine Sol and Mr. Clean but hey, it was fun while it lasted.

Hayden Panettiere and her boobs...

Hayden Panettiere is a total mess here in this photo, not only is she wearing Uggs with Daisy Duke shorts she has on a tight green t-shirt that is doing her tits no favors. I don't know if it's the angle but her nipples are bizarre! Huge nips on tiny tits is unusual. I think they'd look better if a cool breeze zipped past her and gave her some headlights instead of door knobs.

Rihanna is vulgar...

Rihanna, the typical attention whore was not feeling the love as she left a nightclub. Maybe her booty shaking wasn't up to par or possibly everyone didn't fawn all over her as much as she expected them to. It could be that no one recognized her since she doused the fire red hair that she had for way too long. Whatever the problem may be, you can take it 2 ways. Either Rihanna is telling us to "fuck off" by displaying her middle finger or she is giving us half a peace sign. Either or... glass half full.

Shannon Dougherty Third Times A Charm

Shannon Dougherty snagged husband number three. Of course this involved her new reality show which is all about the wedding. Shannon has a lot of wear and tear on her after all, her second husband was Rick Solomon and we all know how that turned out. She also practically pistol whipped her last fiance. So this poor dude, Kurt Iswarienko must think he can handle the crazy that Shannon brings. Shannon is 40 now so either she is going to pop up pregnant or maybe she just wanted us to see her wonk eye on the small screen one last time for good measure. I'll watch the show, I'm sure Shannon was a Bridezilla and I'm all about watching selfish, entitled bitches go all out on a wedding and forget about the marriage part.

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Eva Mendes and her nipple...

Eva Mendes posed for a fashion shoot with a nipple bared and glaring. Actually you can barely see it, I'm sure it's been airbrused to a lighter shade of pale. So, if you wanna see Eva Mendes' nipple, here you go. Enjoy.